[0.0s] Previously on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[30.0s] You get the key, and if you don't, the fiery hells of Orcus will be upon your doorstep before you know it,
[36.0s] and the waves of undead that'll lash out upon you are going to end your life.
[42.0s] Oh, calm down, man. He'll forgive you.
[44.0s] Oh, I mean, yeah, here's the key.
[46.0s] I'm so sorry, it's no problem.
[48.0s] Wow, he went from 0 to 20.
[50.0s] Do you know, uh, an artificer?
[52.0s] Oh, uh, yes. What is, um, what is his name, Irish guard?
[58.0s] Squeaky McLemerson.
[60.0s] Just so happens, I need a little job done in order to finish some of my trinkets and knickknacks.
[65.0s] Can you be more specific?
[67.0s] Yep, I can be.
[69.0s] Next time, on Dumbgeons and Dragons.
[80.0s] Welcome to Dumbgeons and Dragons. I'm your dungeon master, Ross More.
[83.0s] He, him, also with me today is Karla Maxted.
[87.0s] She, her, tonight playing Lipsinki Pipdigons, also she, her.
[92.0s] And Amy More.
[93.0s] Yep, that's me. I will be playing, I just spit all over myself.
[97.0s] I've done this before.
[99.0s] It's been a while.
[100.0s] It has been a little while.
[101.0s] I will be playing Thea Amastasia, she, her, and Gael Nighthunter, Ogula Kanhu, she, them.
[109.0s] And Kyle Clasett.
[111.0s] Hey everyone, he, him. I'm going to be playing Vorunax Zatrutrith.
[115.0s] And thanks for still letting me play with y'all. I'm going to say it every time.
[119.0s] No, you're just part of the game now.
[122.0s] Kyle's been kidnapped and we're forcing him to say that, but he's so good, it sounded sincere.
[127.0s] We made him end his own show. We were like, it's us or them, but there's only one right answer.
[131.0s] It was a dark room, there was a single light, and a car battery, and I don't, I don't, you know.
[135.0s] Yeah, I don't remember what else happened after that. Something about poodles.
[138.0s] Woke up and then there was no more podcasts, I don't know.
[141.0s] I feel like that was our other podcast. That was your character on our other podcast.
[145.0s] Right?
[146.0s] Yeah, absolutely. Tom is not here and that's okay.
[149.0s] Tom isn't here.
[150.0s] Cause he's, he might, he, we're not going to say it just cause this is released in the future,
[154.0s] but he's got reasons and we'll talk about those over on Patreon.
[158.0s] Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast where we have hangouts and tell you all of our personal stuff.
[162.0s] Oh that's true.
[163.0s] Okay, I was like where we discuss Tom without him there.
[166.0s] Specifically Tom.
[168.0s] We, we don't, but we do discuss ourselves when we hang out.
[171.0s] But we do discuss that one picture that Tom took when he shaved his beard off.
[175.0s] Oh yeah.
[176.0s] Cause that still lives on Patreon.
[177.0s] Yeah, that hunts, that hunts some people.
[179.0s] That was wild.
[180.0s] Baby face Tom.
[181.0s] He looked like an eight year old.
[182.0s] Is he nine?
[183.0s] It was crazy.
[184.0s] Yeah.
[186.0s] The beard really does make the man.
[188.0s] I'm sad that you just brought it up again.
[190.0s] Tom's not here.
[191.0s] That was information that I had previously forgotten about.
[193.0s] It's one of those things where you blink and you can see it.
[195.0s] Yeah.
[196.0s] He's just staring down the barrel of the lens.
[198.0s] Behind my eyelids now.
[200.0s] So when you are a patron, you get that.
[202.0s] I am.
[203.0s] But also.
[204.0s] Brace yourselves.
[205.0s] An episode dedicated to you.
[207.0s] Like today's patron, ALex Klein.
[210.0s] ALex.
[211.0s] Thank you so much.
[212.0s] Too cool.
[213.0s] You're amazing.
[214.0s] We appreciate you.
[215.0s] Join us today at Patreon.com slash dumb dragon cast for all the pictures of Tom without a beard.
[221.0s] It's only one, but you get it.
[222.0s] One's enough.
[223.0s] And now fuck it, let's play.
[226.0s] You are on the road through the dead man's marsh to the township of news.
[240.0s] And now, oh, yes, township of news.
[244.0s] It's a beautiful, lovely sunny day.
[248.0s] You hear the crickets chirping off in the brush, the birds sipping overhead.
[255.0s] There's a little bounding otters off by a creek side.
[261.0s] It's just a sweet smell of just freshness and being alive is what the day smells like.
[269.0s] And the three of you.
[271.0s] How many of you are there?
[272.0s] Four of you.
[273.0s] Grant.
[274.0s] Francis is there.
[275.0s] Flint's back in.
[276.0s] Five of us.
[277.0s] Yep.
[278.0s] Night Hunter.
[279.0s] Night Hunter.
[280.0s] Thea.
[281.0s] Francis.
[282.0s] Lipsinki.
[283.0s] Donnie.
[284.0s] Okay.
[285.0s] The group of you, minus Flint, who is back in Greenis just admiring the statue of himself,
[291.5s] are on this road to news.
[294.2s] With a list in your hand of things to collect for Squeaky McLeemerson, the artificer who's
[298.6s] going to re-attune your ring not to the abyss but to the Avernus in the Nine Hells
[305.2s] so that you can find your way to the River Styx.
[308.5s] The list of things he needs.
[311.0s] Springs.
[313.0s] Sprinkles.
[316.0s] Cogs and bolts.
[319.0s] Raw ore.
[322.0s] Jelly ooze.
[325.0s] Scales of a fish person freely given.
[329.0s] Very important parenthetical.
[332.0s] Blood of an enemy forcefully taken.
[335.0s] He's creating Lord Voldemort.
[337.0s] Oh God.
[339.0s] Okay, so that's not bad.
[342.0s] As you are walking reviewing this list, you, the road kind of comes to a forest, narrows
[348.0s] a little bit, bottlenecks a little bit, and you hear off in the trees just like a
[354.0s] light rustle of leaves that is not normal as far as like the wind direction goes,
[361.0s] and like sniffles.
[369.0s] Somebody is doing inhAlydints in that bush.
[371.0s] I was going to say someone is doing coke in that bush.
[376.0s] Excuse me, drug addict?
[378.0s] Hey!
[380.0s] Six goblins all hop out in front of you, all with spears and large sacks that are
[386.0s] empty over their backs, and they have like runny eyes and their nose is like snot
[392.0s] covered like a child, like a three-year-old who doesn't realize that they need to
[395.0s] blow their nose, but it's like running down like a handlebar mustache.
[399.0s] Oh.
[401.0s] Nose a little red around the edges from the wiping or blowing, and they say,
[405.0s] hand over all your medical supplies.
[408.0s] Medical supplies? We do not have those.
[410.0s] Do it, and they kind of hop towards you with their spears.
[414.0s] Do you?
[415.0s] Night Hunter wants to grab a spear and whack.
[418.0s] I'm going to say you can freely do that.
[421.0s] She grabs and not like I'm going to knock you out, but very much a power
[425.0s] move of like yoink boink.
[427.0s] Actually, hold on.
[428.0s] Let's go.
[429.0s] No, she wants a yoink boink.
[430.0s] No, let's go competing strength saving, competing strength contest.
[435.0s] This is not right.
[436.0s] I'll roll with disadvantage.
[437.0s] I'll roll with disadvantage.
[439.0s] Well, yeah, that's right, because he's sick.
[441.0s] Yes, he's sick.
[442.0s] Maybe this four weeks without playing has been a reset, and you're really
[445.0s] good at rolling now.
[446.0s] Oh, maybe.
[447.0s] So first one was a 19 plus one, and a second one is a six plus one.
[452.0s] There we go.
[453.0s] Or five plus one, so a six.
[455.0s] So you got to beat a six.
[456.0s] Okay.
[457.0s] Well, that's a five plus.
[458.0s] Is it this?
[459.0s] It's not a saving throw.
[460.0s] Okay.
[461.0s] All right.
[462.0s] Then 12.
[463.0s] I was going to say, I hope there's no plus, but it's Night Hunter.
[465.0s] I forgot.
[466.0s] Yeah.
[467.0s] She yoinks and boinks.
[468.0s] They're very strong.
[469.0s] Ow.
[470.0s] Oh, God.
[471.0s] Why are you threatening people?
[472.0s] Go to pharmacy.
[473.0s] They're chemists.
[474.0s] They don't know what we call them here.
[476.0s] They don't let us in the pharmacy anymore for reasons.
[482.0s] He puts his fingers to his nose and then says, for reasons, for those
[485.0s] playing the home game.
[491.0s] I'm uncomfortable.
[492.0s] Give us what you stole.
[493.0s] Give us what we stole.
[494.0s] Well, no, we used that from the pharmacy.
[497.0s] We did that.
[498.0s] We already used all that.
[499.0s] We have empty sacks.
[500.0s] We need to fill it with the medical supplies.
[502.0s] Hand them over.
[503.0s] Well, I'm not going to give you any medical supplies, but I could give you each a hanky
[508.0s] because it is hard just to look at your faces right now.
[513.0s] Thea has gone into the side of the road in the bush and is picking different wild plants.
[521.0s] She's rooting the shit out of us here.
[524.0s] What's your goal?
[525.0s] Herbology.
[526.0s] Herbalism.
[527.0s] Roll in nature.
[528.0s] You're trying to do some sort of medicinal.
[530.0s] Herb-ist-ness.
[531.0s] So you can roll medicine or nature.
[533.0s] Our dog smells so bad.
[535.0s] That's okay.
[536.0s] Maybe I can go in the yard and gather some wild shrubs to medicate him.
[543.0s] Well, nature is only a plus two, but medicine is a plus 10.
[547.0s] So we're going to go medicine.
[548.0s] Oh, there we go.
[549.0s] Yeah.
[550.0s] Okay, 21.
[551.0s] Okay.
[552.0s] Yeah, absolutely.
[553.0s] What do you find and how does it help?
[554.0s] Thea finds plantain for, I'm bullshitting here, but for a reduction of swelling.
[563.0s] She also finds some milkweed for congestion and some echinacea for sore throat.
[569.0s] Okay.
[570.0s] You whip that up and it's like a paste, I assume.
[573.0s] Yeah, it's a paste.
[574.0s] What are you doing with that?
[576.0s] Okay.
[577.0s] You're going to chew this.
[578.0s] You're going to gum it up real good.
[580.0s] You're going to chew it around.
[581.0s] It's going to taste real florally.
[582.0s] Okay.
[583.0s] You're going to keep it in your mouth for a little bit.
[585.0s] We'll chew it around and then you're going to swallow it.
[587.0s] This is great.
[588.0s] No one wants to listen to that.
[590.0s] Welcome back.
[591.0s] Do they?
[593.0s] Mm-hmm.
[594.0s] Okay.
[600.0s] And drink lots of water.
[601.0s] Okay.
[602.0s] But it didn't stop.
[603.0s] Well, no, it takes time.
[605.0s] But look, this plant, she shows the three plants.
[609.0s] These plants, smash them up with some of your spit.
[612.0s] Yeah, you totally ate my spit.
[614.0s] And then every couple hours.
[617.0s] Okay.
[618.0s] Every couple hours.
[619.0s] Everybody get that?
[620.0s] Yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep, yep.
[622.0s] Okay.
[623.0s] He takes the plants from you.
[625.0s] So about those medical supplies then?
[628.0s] No, still don't have any of those.
[630.0s] Look, nature is medicine.
[631.0s] These were just in the trees.
[633.0s] Yeah.
[634.0s] I could have got these before.
[636.0s] Yeah.
[637.0s] Isn't nature a miracle?
[639.0s] Haven't you learned something today?
[642.0s] Yeah, you learned that drugs are all around you.
[646.0s] Son of a bitch.
[647.0s] Yeah, it's true.
[648.0s] You just got to have the willpower to get out there and find them.
[652.0s] Alright, Steve-o, let's go.
[655.0s] They start loading up their bags, rather large bags for the size of them, with all the three plants.
[662.0s] And you notice as you're doing it, like they mix in some poison ivy and stuff as they're going,
[667.0s] because they're not really paying attention.
[669.0s] They just kind of went and followed and there was some other stuff around.
[672.0s] That one's good for cleaning your rear.
[674.0s] Be sure to use that one there.
[676.0s] This one here?
[677.0s] Yeah, yeah.
[678.0s] Just like this?
[679.0s] Okay, yeah.
[680.0s] Okay, good.
[681.0s] Get deep in there.
[682.0s] Tingles.
[683.0s] Oh, you guys, they steal a lot of stuff.
[686.0s] Maybe they'll know where some of the stuff we need is.
[689.0s] That's true.
[690.0s] Wait, your boogers.
[693.0s] Would we consider that jelly-oos?
[696.0s] It's gelatinous in a way.
[698.0s] It's oozy, for sure.
[700.0s] It's definitely oozy.
[702.0s] I think, jelly-oo, is that not a particular thing?
[706.0s] Ooze from like a jelly?
[708.0s] I don't actually know what it is.
[710.0s] I thought it meant like jelly, like a jam.
[712.0s] You want some?
[714.0s] He's like dangling all over his finger.
[716.0s] Oh, no.
[717.0s] Might as well.
[718.0s] I'd pull out a little vial.
[720.0s] Just wipe it in there.
[721.0s] This is not okay.
[722.0s] This is not okay.
[724.0s] That is okay.
[726.0s] Okay, there you go.
[727.0s] If anything, you can use this to track you down if you want to make any other kind of trouble for people.
[731.0s] So, thank you for giving me some of yourself.
[734.0s] Congratulations, you've been duped.
[736.0s] Properly.
[737.0s] That sounds very dangerous.
[738.0s] Okay, well, you've given us leaves and possibly a bounty on our heads.
[742.0s] We've given you slime from our faces.
[745.0s] All right, well, this has been nice.
[746.0s] We're going to wait for the next crew to come through.
[748.0s] We're just going to go back up into the trees here.
[750.0s] See you nice.
[751.0s] Have a great day.
[752.0s] Fair enough.
[761.0s] We carry on down this winding road, and it opens into a large valley.
[775.0s] And you see a town off in the distance, which you can presume to be the township of news.
[780.0s] And as you get closer and crest up over one final hill, like you hear off in the distance, like this loud, like sneezing, coughing coming from the town.
[789.0s] And it's getting louder and louder the closer you get.
[791.0s] And you see people walking through, like covering their mouths and just like everybody.
[797.0s] Same kind of situation as the goblins that you saw before, just in a bad state as far as what they look like.
[805.0s] And all very cold like symptoms.
[809.0s] I do not want to go into this town.
[812.0s] Oh, well, I'll be fine.
[814.0s] Gross.
[817.0s] I think is the word I'm looking for.
[820.0s] Although, like, look at someone coughing and you can see all the wet coming out of their mouth.
[827.0s] Well, I mean, I have no issues with any kind of diseases.
[832.0s] So, sorry, you do not catch cold.
[837.0s] I mean, I don't catch disease.
[839.0s] I don't know if this is a cold or disease or what may have where it falls under.
[843.0s] But if anything, the next day I can just ask for the blessing of Orcus, I guess, still.
[851.0s] Like this with this hand gesture, cupping, cupping, this is Orcus blessing?
[856.0s] Yes, yes. You just you just grab at it wherever you can.
[861.0s] And just get it.
[863.0s] Oh, gosh, how long have you been here for?
[866.0s] I forgot I was here.
[867.0s] I was I was napping kind of just, you know, like one of those walk in napping states
[872.0s] as old men sometimes have.
[875.0s] You just got to get a cup.
[878.0s] That's what they taught you.
[880.0s] We don't want to see you do that.
[881.0s] No, no, it's too late.
[882.0s] I already did.
[883.0s] Yeah.
[884.0s] Just like that. Right, Varnus?
[885.0s] That's how you taught me in the torture chambers.
[887.0s] Kansas News.
[888.0s] See, that's that's what it is.
[890.0s] I got it in.
[891.0s] Everybody knows that this is sort of you sort of gently you reach out and cup gently and just draw.
[899.0s] Cup and draw.
[901.0s] Sorry.
[902.0s] Out of out of world.
[903.0s] Does Grant us know this Farnox or died Farnox or?
[908.0s] We've we've already we've already.
[910.0s] Yeah, he knows all of them.
[911.0s] OK.
[912.0s] He was down in the abyss, right?
[914.0s] Yeah, I know.
[915.0s] Yeah, he knows all of them.
[916.0s] OK, cool.
[917.0s] Yeah.
[918.0s] So, you know, if anything, some restoration could be could be divined upon me.
[924.0s] So if I do catch anything.
[929.0s] Yeah.
[930.0s] And plus, you have those sweet herbs that you just.
[933.0s] Well, the let us know about.
[935.0s] Yeah.
[936.0s] Nature's magical.
[937.0s] But I don't know if there's enough herbs in the forest to deal with all these people.
[941.0s] Look at them all.
[943.0s] Oh, friendly travelers.
[945.0s] Hello.
[947.0s] Yes.
[948.0s] Welcome.
[949.0s] Come into the town of news.
[952.0s] Thank you.
[953.0s] It's a beautiful town you've got here.
[957.0s] Lovely, especially despite this horrid looking day.
[960.0s] What is wrong with everybody in this town?
[962.0s] Well, it was kind of sunny today.
[964.0s] I thought it was pretty nice.
[966.0s] Well, everybody, we had a big we've had a big festival there just a couple of nights ago.
[973.0s] The Great Market Festival.
[975.0s] And well, everybody after that kind of caught a little little sickness.
[980.0s] So, you know, we just every every now and again, every once a night,
[985.0s] we travel up down to up down to the mines.
[989.0s] The priests give us the clearing clearing out and then we're good for a day.
[994.0s] And then and then it comes back.
[997.0s] So I don't know.
[999.0s] Would you mind taking me through all of that again, just with maybe a little bit more sort of explanation about going into a mine to see the priests and then they clear you out?
[1012.0s] Yeah.
[1013.0s] OK.
[1014.0s] Yeah, sure. My name's Mayor Carrington.
[1017.0s] Nice to meet you all.
[1018.0s] Because I'm sorry.
[1019.0s] Are you the mayor or is your name Mayor or are you the mayor and your name is Mayor?
[1024.0s] I am not the mayor.
[1026.0s] I am the blacksmith.
[1028.0s] But my name is Mayor M-A-E-R-E.
[1031.0s] Mayor.
[1032.0s] Oh, I see.
[1033.0s] Like Metro Goldwyn.
[1035.0s] That's it.
[1036.0s] Yeah, that's M-A-Y-R-Y-E-R.
[1038.0s] Yeah, but M-A-E-R-E.
[1040.0s] Mayor Carrington.
[1042.0s] Blacksmith.
[1043.0s] Like the lunch meat.
[1044.0s] Yes, exactly.
[1045.0s] You seem like a very helpful individual.
[1047.0s] Well, I'm trying to be, but let me explain again.
[1050.0s] So flashback two nights ago, there was ruckus laughter and joyful music playing around.
[1059.0s] I love Market Festival Days or whatever we call this again.
[1063.0s] It's so markety and festivaly and fun.
[1066.0s] Oh my gosh.
[1067.0s] We only have these once every two years.
[1070.0s] I can't believe it.
[1071.0s] They should have these more often.
[1073.0s] The candy apples.
[1074.0s] Have you seen the candy apples?
[1075.0s] Maybe annually.
[1076.0s] I've had four candy apples.
[1078.0s] Oh man, I can't wait to bob for some apples.
[1080.0s] The event was going off just spectacularly.
[1084.0s] Everyone was having the most joyous of times.
[1086.0s] They brought out the big pinata for all the children to play with.
[1090.0s] I hope I get a turn to whack at it.
[1093.0s] I'm going to hit it so hard.
[1096.0s] Up on the stage we had our town comic, Smeinfeld Jerry.
[1103.0s] So what's the deal with Kobolds?
[1106.0s] They're cowardly and run away more often than not.
[1109.0s] Nothing bold about them.
[1112.0s] It's funny because it's true.
[1114.0s] That's just a regular day occurrence.
[1117.0s] That's relatable.
[1119.0s] After the night was done, everyone went home feeling rejuvenated.
[1124.0s] Feeling like the day was in theirs.
[1128.0s] It was a bit of a doldrum kind of week beforehand.
[1131.0s] The taxes were due and everybody had...
[1136.0s] I don't even know what else could be bad in a town like this.
[1140.0s] The leaves were falling because it's fall.
[1143.0s] My husband and I had a sexual drive spell that cleared up right after that festival.
[1149.0s] Exactly.
[1150.0s] That's how good it was, Margaret.
[1152.0s] All the people that came through kicked all the acorns off the road
[1155.0s] and now I don't wind up stepping on them so often and hurting my feet.
[1158.0s] And I found a puppy.
[1160.0s] All puppies. The best puppies.
[1162.0s] It's the best day ever.
[1163.0s] All of these things happened at the Great Market Festival
[1166.0s] and then the next day everyone woke up with a sniffle.
[1171.0s] Just like out of the blue.
[1176.0s] It's a sniffle that wouldn't stop no matter how much they blew.
[1180.0s] So regarding the sniffle, what did you do?
[1183.0s] Well, we didn't know what to do.
[1185.0s] Nothing would stop.
[1186.0s] The usual plantain and milkweed and...
[1191.0s] Echinacea?
[1192.0s] Echinacea remedy that is so well known in these parts just would not do.
[1197.0s] So what we did was, well, we were introduced by our priest
[1202.0s] to this new way of taking care of cold-like symptoms.
[1208.0s] It was a clearing, a divine vial that cleared the nostrils.
[1216.0s] But the best place to do it was down in the mines of McCuss.
[1221.0s] M, apostrophe, C-U-S, McCuss.
[1224.0s] So we had to go down to the mines
[1226.0s] because that's where the altar to McCuss is
[1229.0s] and they would give us the bottle of nose cleaning
[1233.0s] or nose clearing or something like that
[1235.0s] which would clear the system.
[1238.0s] But then it's come back every couple days.
[1241.0s] So we just have to lather, rinse, repeat.
[1243.0s] And then we got a day of clearness
[1245.0s] and then we have to go back the next day.
[1248.0s] Does that about catch you up?
[1250.0s] Thank you. Yes, it did.
[1253.0s] Are you...
[1255.0s] Y'all are just all clearing your noses in the same spot
[1258.0s] just the whole town?
[1260.0s] What happens with mucus?
[1262.0s] Thank you, Nat Hunter.
[1264.0s] That's exactly what I was wondering.
[1266.0s] It comes out and then...
[1268.0s] And into the altar of McCuss.
[1270.0s] Oh, you're farming mucus.
[1273.0s] I mean, I guess in a sense.
[1275.0s] That seems a really weird thing to...
[1277.0s] As long as you are fine with it.
[1279.0s] Turn it into your sacrifice and your snot.
[1283.0s] McCuss gives you, like, boon?
[1286.0s] Well, I mean, he clears the snot from our nose
[1290.0s] which makes us feel much better for a day and a bit.
[1293.0s] And how much do you have to pay
[1295.0s] to have this service provided?
[1297.0s] Oh, nothing.
[1299.0s] The priest just takes care of it for us.
[1301.0s] Balderdash, they're getting something out of it.
[1303.0s] I don't believe it.
[1305.0s] Look, you weary travelers
[1307.0s] look like you've been going for such a long time.
[1310.0s] Excuse me, let me go get you some water
[1313.0s] and see if we can set you up at an inn, okay?
[1316.0s] I'll be right back.
[1317.0s] I've got my own water, thank you.
[1318.0s] I'll be right back.
[1319.0s] Does it seem like perhaps
[1321.0s] mucus is sacrifice or tribute to God McCuss?
[1327.0s] I feel like it's got to be.
[1329.0s] I mean, I know I always think the worst of everybody
[1333.0s] because, you know, evil for years and years and years.
[1336.0s] But it's just that if you're not paying for a service
[1339.0s] then, like, I think you're kind of more the product.
[1342.0s] Yeah, exactly.
[1344.0s] Do you know what I mean?
[1345.0s] Like, they're getting something from you
[1347.0s] and you're not giving them something.
[1349.0s] Oh, God, do you guys think we're going to have to fight
[1351.0s] a giant mucus monster?
[1352.0s] I was about to say, you know...
[1353.0s] Oh, I mean...
[1355.0s] Orcus takes the undead or the dead and then makes undead.
[1359.0s] This McCuss might just take mucus and make snot golems.
[1362.0s] Giant mucus monster.
[1364.0s] I just don't know if I can.
[1366.0s] I'm not sure if I have the energy for that today, you guys.
[1369.0s] I mean, you ever seen snot in a snow drift?
[1373.0s] It just freezes.
[1375.0s] It's rather easy to take out.
[1377.0s] Get stuck in the second place and shatter it.
[1379.0s] I mean, we're planning ahead for something that might not happen,
[1383.0s] but I like it.
[1384.0s] This is very new for us.
[1386.0s] All right, water fresh from the well.
[1388.0s] Here you go.
[1389.0s] Sorry.
[1390.0s] Sorry that took me so long.
[1391.0s] It's hard to carry a bunch of flagons down the street.
[1394.0s] Very kind of you.
[1396.0s] Thank you.
[1397.0s] Hey, what's over there?
[1398.0s] I made sure to hold them out at a...
[1400.0s] Who's that?
[1401.0s] Sorry?
[1402.0s] Who's that?
[1403.0s] Well, that's...
[1404.0s] And I just pour the water, like, go back.
[1406.0s] I don't want to drink their well water.
[1408.0s] I don't want to touch anything.
[1410.0s] Well, that's just Enid.
[1411.0s] She runs the post office.
[1413.0s] Oh, I thought I recognized her, but it's somebody else.
[1416.0s] Yeah, thanks.
[1418.0s] Thanks.
[1419.0s] Perhaps you could tell us where we can get some items we are looking for.
[1424.0s] Because maybe we do not have to be in town too long.
[1427.0s] Oh, okay.
[1428.0s] Well, you got places to be?
[1430.0s] Yes, to get back with this list of things that we...
[1433.0s] What are you looking for?
[1435.0s] Well, spring and sprinkles and cogs and bolts and raw ore and a jelly ooze.
[1444.0s] And do you know any fish people?
[1447.0s] Fish people?
[1449.0s] Yeah.
[1450.0s] Not many come through here.
[1451.0s] We do have the stream that runs...
[1454.0s] You might have seen it walk coming up there,
[1456.0s] all the playful little otters that live down there.
[1459.0s] Yeah, we did see those otters.
[1462.0s] No fish people, per se, that I've seen there.
[1467.0s] Some various salmon, some minnows.
[1472.0s] Yeah, just more fish.
[1474.0s] More fish.
[1476.0s] As opposed to a fish purse.
[1478.0s] Perhaps a place in the city that would sell?
[1481.0s] Oh, no.
[1482.0s] Sorry, springs, I'm the blacksmith.
[1484.0s] I make springs, because that's what blacksmiths do.
[1487.0s] Oh, and cogs and bolts.
[1489.0s] Cogs and bolts, yeah.
[1490.0s] I think I've got some raw ore.
[1491.0s] If not, you can find some at the mine.
[1493.0s] That's usually where I get it, too.
[1495.0s] But I'm pretty sure I got a little bit, at least.
[1497.0s] How much did you need?
[1498.0s] Well, some, I believe, is what our directions were.
[1503.0s] Sprinkles, you might be able to go down to...
[1506.0s] Are you looking for edible sprinkles or arts and crafts sprinkles?
[1510.0s] See, these are questions that we should have asked.
[1512.0s] I would assume sprinkles would be edible,
[1515.0s] because the arts and crafts one, that's like glitter.
[1518.0s] Yeah, that's more of a glitter.
[1520.0s] I also like the tiny candy pieces.
[1523.0s] Orchis loves glitter.
[1525.0s] Well, Orchis and I have that in common.
[1528.0s] It's candy pieces?
[1530.0s] Yeah, you know, the tiny pieces of candy,
[1533.0s] you'd put them on...
[1534.0s] You could probably go down and visit Valerie at the bakery.
[1538.0s] She's probably got some sprinkles
[1540.0s] that she could hook you up with.
[1542.0s] She's still baking goods.
[1546.0s] She's got business to run.
[1549.0s] She wears like this cup that catches...
[1553.0s] Oh, gosh.
[1554.0s] It's just a drip cup.
[1556.0s] Just sort of a...
[1558.0s] Just a drip cup.
[1560.0s] It has more of a trough.
[1562.0s] Yeah, yeah.
[1564.0s] That's a run down like the little, you know, the valley.
[1568.0s] This is called your cupid's bow.
[1570.0s] Whoa, really?
[1572.0s] Well, that's something you learn new every day.
[1574.0s] That's something you learn new every day.
[1576.0s] Cupid's bow.
[1578.0s] Okay.
[1580.0s] Hot diggity.
[1582.0s] Just like to impart a little bit of wisdom.
[1584.0s] Well, Mayor, would you mind if we came with you now
[1587.0s] and maybe purchase a few of the items that we need?
[1591.0s] Hold please.
[1593.0s] We didn't have enough...
[1596.0s] Hold on.
[1598.0s] We didn't have enough money
[1601.0s] to give this guy to do this thing for us.
[1604.0s] But that's because he wanted 750 gold.
[1607.0s] He wanted a lot of money.
[1609.0s] Yeah, I think we had 10 pieces of gold between us.
[1612.0s] You had 10 pieces of gold?
[1614.0s] I'm talking out of game.
[1616.0s] Excuse me, sir, this is a private conversation.
[1619.0s] And then he sent us on a shopping trip.
[1621.0s] Like, here you go, you poor ass motherfuckers.
[1623.0s] Go buy all this stuff for me.
[1625.0s] And we're getting here.
[1627.0s] We're like, wow, we've walked all this way
[1629.0s] and we have very little money on us.
[1631.0s] So hopefully we can trade some sexual favors
[1633.0s] because that may be the only way we're getting
[1635.0s] these springs, cogs, and bolts.
[1637.0s] Yeah, of course you can buy the things that I have
[1639.0s] and then go visit Valerie.
[1641.0s] The fish people, I'm not too sure on.
[1643.0s] What else was on your list?
[1645.0s] Ooze?
[1647.0s] Jelly ooze.
[1649.0s] Well, I mean, Valerie's got cups of it.
[1651.0s] But that's not really probably what you're looking for.
[1654.0s] I don't know what it is.
[1658.0s] You don't know what it is, but you're looking for it.
[1660.0s] Yeah.
[1661.0s] Well, how am I supposed to know what it is
[1663.0s] if you don't know what it is?
[1665.0s] We were sent to this town and thought maybe it was a thing.
[1667.0s] Maybe you were like the jelly ooze capital.
[1669.0s] Okay.
[1671.0s] Jelly ooze from news.
[1673.0s] Oh, isn't that a thing?
[1676.0s] Jelly ooze from news.
[1678.0s] Well, let's go talk to Valerie,
[1680.0s] see if she's got your sprinkles.
[1682.0s] Maybe she's got a little,
[1684.0s] she's got a beat on some jelly ooze.
[1686.0s] Follow me.
[1687.0s] I mean, while we're there,
[1689.0s] we may as well get a little bit of just jelly.
[1691.0s] Right?
[1692.0s] Yes.
[1693.0s] Just if she's got jelly and doughnut, right?
[1695.0s] Just in case.
[1697.0s] Pastry, you squeeze it, it oozes out.
[1700.0s] Mmm.
[1702.0s] It all sounds delightful.
[1704.0s] Guys, I don't know if we want the ooze from Valerie's bakery.
[1711.0s] Why do you know her?
[1714.0s] Well, it just sounds like she's collecting boogers
[1716.0s] in a cup we're not listening to.
[1718.0s] Is she your ex-girlfriend or something?
[1720.0s] It is possible.
[1722.0s] Oh.
[1724.0s] I see.
[1726.0s] I mean, honestly, the jackpot sounds like it's in the mine, really,
[1728.0s] if we're going to be collecting mucus.
[1731.0s] Yeah.
[1733.0s] But perhaps there is like a jam-type substance.
[1735.0s] Well, let's go check on the bakery
[1738.0s] and go from there, shall we?
[1740.0s] Sounds cool.
[1742.0s] Welcome to the middle
[1744.0s] where we're talking to Cicero.
[1746.0s] End of song.
[1748.0s] Okay.
[1750.0s] Wow.
[1752.0s] We have a special guest, middle guest.
[1754.0s] Yeah, middle guest.
[1756.0s] Oh, yeah, I'm the middle guest.
[1758.0s] Yeah, so many guests.
[1760.0s] Regular guest Kyle Claset and Cicero's here
[1762.0s] to tell us about all the things he's got going on.
[1764.0s] What you guys got going on?
[1766.0s] Yeah, so one of the really cool things that I got going on
[1768.0s] is I'm part of a podcasting network
[1770.0s] called The Incomparable.
[1772.0s] And coming out soon
[1774.0s] is a peak TV draft
[1776.0s] where we have created
[1778.0s] a streaming service,
[1780.0s] a fictional streaming service
[1782.0s] where you take four of your
[1784.0s] best TV shows from the last 20 years
[1786.0s] or of the 21st century
[1788.0s] and you get to draft them
[1790.0s] into your own streaming service.
[1792.0s] We've recorded it.
[1794.0s] We put it together.
[1796.0s] It was hilarious.
[1798.0s] I hosted it. It was a lot of fun.
[1800.0s] And you can look it up on The Incomparable.
[1802.0s] Look for The Incomparable
[1804.0s] in Cicero Homes and you'll find
[1806.0s] lots of different things that I've done
[1808.0s] as well as that.
[1810.0s] And, you know, come for
[1812.0s] the peak TV draft
[1814.0s] and stay for plenty of other things
[1816.0s] at The Incomparable.
[1818.0s] The Incomparable on Twitter
[1820.0s] and theincomparable.com.
[1822.0s] Awesome. Can't wait to see it.
[1824.0s] I'll get a link from you too.
[1826.0s] Thanks there, Cicero.
[1828.0s] Thank you so much for being here with us
[1830.0s] in this middle.
[1832.0s] We just love having you here.
[1834.0s] You were at the live show.
[1836.0s] You're in some episodes coming up.
[1840.0s] Secret spoilers.
[1842.0s] Cicero's here.
[1844.0s] Who knows who he's playing?
[1846.0s] Who knows what's going to happen?
[1848.0s] But we can't wait.
[1850.0s] And go check out The Incomparable
[1852.0s] and the draft, which obviously
[1854.0s] were Lost, Seinfeld,
[1856.0s] Barbie's Dreamhouse, and...
[1858.0s] Friends.
[1860.0s] Oh, I was going to go Blue's Clues
[1862.0s] which is like a children's murder she wrote.
[1864.0s] Only one of those
[1866.0s] shows came out
[1868.0s] post-2000.
[1870.0s] I don't know how to play the game.
[1876.0s] Thank you everybody. Go back and listen to the episode
[1878.0s] now and go check out
[1880.0s] all the things that are going on over on The Incomparable.
[1882.0s] Okay, bye everybody.
[1884.0s] Love you, bye.
[1892.0s] Yeah, just right up here, around the corner.
[1894.0s] I think that Mare should be the mayor.
[1896.0s] He is quite the
[1898.0s] ambassador. Oh, he's a go-getter.
[1900.0s] For the town of News.
[1902.0s] I stand at the door and I just kind of
[1904.0s] look into the
[1906.0s] establishment. Cause I don't know why
[1908.0s] but it feels grosser
[1910.0s] being in an enclosed building
[1912.0s] full of food.
[1914.0s] And then I yell,
[1916.0s] Why don't you come on over, Valerie?
[1918.0s] Cause I've had that song
[1920.0s] stuck in my head since we've said Valerie.
[1922.0s] We used to cover that
[1924.0s] when we played live. A lot of fun.
[1926.0s] Great song.
[1928.0s] Valerie, Valerie,
[1930.0s] we've got some customers here.
[1932.0s] You look in and it's a pristine
[1934.0s] bake shop. There's not
[1936.0s] a smudging site.
[1938.0s] Nary a booger to be seen.
[1940.0s] Nary a booger to be seen.
[1942.0s] Except for
[1944.0s] Valerie.
[1946.0s] Walks around the corner and clearly
[1948.0s] has a contraption strung up
[1950.0s] beneath her nose.
[1952.0s] She's got gloves on and
[1954.0s] is holding her hands out and says, yes,
[1956.0s] what's a different voice?
[1960.0s] Haven't had a customer in weeks,
[1962.0s] everybody's been afraid of the boogers.
[1964.0s] Come on in. Yeah, but if you all have
[1966.0s] the same sickness, it certainly
[1968.0s] shouldn't matter. I thought you'd only been sick
[1970.0s] just since the big festival.
[1972.0s] Also, great point.
[1974.0s] If you've all been sick, is it?
[1976.0s] Obviously it doesn't matter. If you're all
[1978.0s] sick, people probably still should be eating
[1980.0s] food from you at this point. We're not
[1982.0s] going to. Have you had any other
[1984.0s] visitors that have come in and
[1986.0s] fall prey to this sickness?
[1988.0s] Visitors
[1990.0s] fall prey to the sickness. That
[1992.0s] sounds very dangerous. Not like
[1994.0s] something Valerie would deal with.
[1996.0s] But no, nobody's
[1998.0s] fallen prey, except for the people
[2000.0s] who currently live here.
[2004.0s] Sounds like some hot goss, though.
[2008.0s] Do you, Valerie, if you enjoy hot
[2010.0s] goss, it sounds like. You know me.
[2012.0s] Me and the girls.
[2014.0s] Down at the nail salon.
[2016.0s] I need to get mine done soon.
[2018.0s] They're getting a little haggardy.
[2020.0s] The girls in my clan always hung out
[2022.0s] down by the artery. Well, it must be
[2024.0s] regional. Circles, yes, I suppose
[2026.0s] so. Yes, everybody's different.
[2028.0s] News. 900 looks at your nails.
[2030.0s] Well, maybe you get your nails
[2032.0s] done before you go. The news
[2034.0s] nails. So what would be
[2036.0s] the goss from your friends about
[2038.0s] where the sickness came from?
[2040.0s] Oh, oh, well, it could have come
[2042.0s] from the bobbing apple station.
[2044.0s] Oh, Valerie.
[2046.0s] Wesley was
[2048.0s] he had a little
[2050.0s] tickle in his throat.
[2052.0s] Oh, we thought maybe he shouldn't
[2054.0s] come, but he did.
[2056.0s] He did. And he was the first
[2058.0s] to bob for apples. And then
[2060.0s] you all decide, OK, Wesley is sick.
[2062.0s] Now I will put my head in
[2064.0s] water. Once you've had a few,
[2066.0s] too many, you just go for
[2068.0s] it, dear. Just forget
[2070.0s] about what happened earlier in the
[2072.0s] day. Yeah, yeah.
[2074.0s] How long have you been sick?
[2076.0s] Oh, since the festival.
[2078.0s] Which was how long ago?
[2080.0s] Several days.
[2082.0s] How many days was it
[2084.0s] there, Mayor?
[2086.0s] Well, it was
[2088.0s] a couple of nights and then another
[2090.0s] couple of nights and then another couple
[2092.0s] of nights. I'm counting the times the priests have
[2094.0s] cleared our nose.
[2096.0s] Could have been six
[2098.0s] or eight. There was a couple
[2100.0s] there was a couple of foggy days in there
[2102.0s] before we found that the
[2104.0s] priests could do that. Just a stretch
[2106.0s] of like just
[2108.0s] running all over.
[2110.0s] And this priest has lived in your town
[2112.0s] before? Yes, yes,
[2114.0s] yes, yes. Familiar.
[2116.0s] But until now,
[2118.0s] you know, you've resided in
[2120.0s] town and then took an
[2122.0s] oath to
[2124.0s] McCuss and
[2126.0s] has since taken
[2128.0s] stow up in the mines
[2130.0s] where the altar is, of
[2132.0s] course, that we had previously mentioned.
[2134.0s] Question, is your priest
[2136.0s] also sick?
[2138.0s] Oh, is he
[2140.0s] also sick? Was he sick the last
[2142.0s] time? No, but he has the bottle
[2144.0s] of nose cleaning. So even if he
[2146.0s] was, I assume he would take them
[2148.0s] more regularly so as to
[2150.0s] show that they work.
[2152.0s] Makes sense, I guess.
[2154.0s] And this priest's name? Priest's name.
[2156.0s] The one who is
[2158.0s] bestowed upon to
[2160.0s] McCuss, the nose-shaped god,
[2162.0s] of course,
[2164.0s] is
[2166.0s] Leroy.
[2170.0s] Priest Leroy.
[2172.0s] Junkins.
[2180.0s] I've got a
[2182.0s] question. This bottle,
[2184.0s] is it a bottle you drink
[2186.0s] out of? Yes, several bottles.
[2188.0s] Yes, they're small vials. You know what
[2190.0s] bottles are? Tiny glass bottles.
[2192.0s] There are many
[2194.0s] of them, and we get
[2196.0s] one. We drink it.
[2198.0s] Flushed.
[2200.0s] Next person gets a new one.
[2202.0s] Drinks it.
[2204.0s] Flushed. So it is only one, though.
[2206.0s] Right? Like you
[2208.0s] take one.
[2210.0s] Yeah. Okay. And here I thought
[2212.0s] you were getting a small thing.
[2214.0s] For sure, I thought it was a neti pot.
[2216.0s] 100%.
[2218.0s] And that's, you know, kind of a
[2220.0s] physical clearing of
[2222.0s] the... It can be quite
[2224.0s] helpful. It's like letting gravity
[2226.0s] take control of it.
[2228.0s] Take hold of the wheel.
[2230.0s] Just a mild saline
[2232.0s] and then it... Interesting.
[2234.0s] Yeah. But this is something
[2236.0s] you are, you are
[2238.0s] ingesting it. Yeah.
[2240.0s] Oh, yeah. No, no, no. It's
[2242.0s] a bottle, perhaps called
[2244.0s] a potion, some sort of fluid.
[2246.0s] I'm glad we asked because I was picturing
[2248.0s] something just totally different.
[2250.0s] And you have to
[2252.0s] flush into a receptacle,
[2254.0s] a specific receptacle, right?
[2256.0s] Oh, yeah. Do you drink it and then you just hang
[2258.0s] your face over something? Wait, does it come
[2260.0s] out of your face? It comes out of your face
[2262.0s] and gets
[2264.0s] up the altar.
[2266.0s] It gets like sucked out of your
[2268.0s] face? Up into the nostril shaped altar.
[2270.0s] Into the nostril shaped
[2272.0s] altar. Right. Oh, it is
[2274.0s] a booger farm.
[2276.0s] Yeah.
[2278.0s] Yes.
[2280.0s] We need to visit this priest.
[2282.0s] I want to know what they're up to.
[2284.0s] How do I feel about it? Well, I mean,
[2286.0s] it clears the sinuses. Well, yeah, but
[2288.0s] they're obviously giving you something that's making
[2290.0s] you feel like this so that you
[2292.0s] have to come back every couple days to
[2294.0s] feed the god.
[2296.0s] It's a farm. Why would they be
[2298.0s] giving us
[2300.0s] something to make us not feel well?
[2302.0s] Because they are true. Yes, that doesn't
[2304.0s] seem like something
[2306.0s] a priest-junkins
[2308.0s] would do. I like this priest.
[2310.0s] I think we're going to get along.
[2312.0s] You know what?
[2314.0s] Maybe I'm way out of line.
[2316.0s] Yeah, I think I've got the wrong picture.
[2318.0s] Do you think maybe we could meet these people?
[2320.0s] This just all seems so odd.
[2322.0s] Yeah, but before we do, we need to get those
[2324.0s] springs cogs. Oh, definitely.
[2326.0s] Just sprinkles. You got sprinkles, right? Oh, yes.
[2328.0s] We've got lots of sprinkles. Valerie, you've got
[2330.0s] sprinkles. Oh, all right. And rainbow sprinkles
[2332.0s] just by any chance because I think it just sounds
[2334.0s] fun. Oh, I was picturing
[2336.0s] yeah, I was picturing rainbows
[2338.0s] as well. Okay, rainbow sprinkles coming
[2340.0s] right up. Do you have any
[2342.0s] jelly ooze?
[2344.0s] Jelly ooze. We have jelly.
[2346.0s] We have jam.
[2348.0s] Can we just get a little bit of that?
[2350.0s] Jelly and jam
[2352.0s] just in a little jar.
[2354.0s] Jelly and jam in a jar, if you don't mind.
[2356.0s] Just in
[2358.0s] a jar.
[2362.0s] Look, I'm trying to limit the foley I have to
[2364.0s] do. I'm making it work.
[2366.0s] It sounded
[2368.0s] right.
[2370.0s] Like it did sound like a wet
[2372.0s] sort of slop sound.
[2374.0s] Kind of like when the jam gets stuck to the inside
[2376.0s] of the jar and it just kind of pulls away.
[2378.0s] Well, there you go, dear.
[2380.0s] Your jam
[2382.0s] and your sprinkles, the rainbow.
[2384.0s] Oh,
[2386.0s] that'll be
[2388.0s] a couple copper
[2390.0s] and I'll toss in an eclair
[2392.0s] or five.
[2394.0s] How many of you? There's one, two, three, four.
[2396.0s] Oh, one is good. You know, just
[2398.0s] one. We're all trying
[2400.0s] to watch our
[2402.0s] pictures. Eat less sugar.
[2404.0s] It makes us crazy.
[2406.0s] Well, come back another time
[2408.0s] then when you're feeling a little peckish.
[2410.0s] The eclairs are
[2412.0s] very well known for the eclairs in news.
[2414.0s] Thank you, Valerie.
[2416.0s] Valerie.
[2418.0s] You exit.
[2422.0s] Grancis is hiding around
[2424.0s] a bush outside.
[2426.0s] Hey, how'd you
[2428.0s] get the goods? Get what we need?
[2430.0s] Grancis, you can't do that in public.
[2432.0s] What?
[2434.0s] Hide behind the bush?
[2436.0s] Yeah, hide, sure.
[2438.0s] Grancis, there is no way that
[2440.0s] his ex-girlfriend in there, even
[2442.0s] with crazy face
[2444.0s] bucket
[2446.0s] of mucus. She was a very attractive
[2448.0s] woman. Oh, well, yeah, of course.
[2450.0s] Grancis only attracts
[2452.0s] the attractive woman.
[2454.0s] He does?
[2456.0s] Yeah.
[2458.0s] You're wearing pajama pants.
[2460.0s] And you aren't?
[2462.0s] I'm not.
[2464.0s] We cut ahead to
[2466.0s] Mayor Blacksmiths.
[2468.0s] All right, yeah, come on in.
[2470.0s] Got your springs?
[2472.0s] Crinkle,
[2474.0s] crinkle, crinkle.
[2476.0s] Got your springs and some cogs and bolts, right?
[2478.0s] Let me help. Boing, boing.
[2480.0s] Cogs and bolts.
[2482.0s] Raw ore.
[2484.0s] Let me just go check the back here. I don't see any out here.
[2490.0s] All right. What's left on
[2492.0s] the list? We got the scales, the
[2494.0s] jelly.
[2496.0s] That's it. Jelly ooze, scales of fish
[2498.0s] person freely given. We've got, if we
[2500.0s] get some ore here, we've got the spring
[2502.0s] and sprinkles and cogs and bolts.
[2504.0s] I mean, I think we're doing
[2506.0s] very well.
[2508.0s] I mean, I think, I mean,
[2510.0s] I know what Vorunax wants to do, but
[2512.0s] do we want to get ourselves involved in
[2514.0s] this? And help
[2516.0s] the priest
[2518.0s] bring about the booger god?
[2520.0s] Yes.
[2522.0s] Wait, that's not what you're talking
[2524.0s] about. No, I was going to say to help cure
[2526.0s] the town. Is that,
[2528.0s] you know, is that on our list?
[2530.0s] Well, I mean,
[2532.0s] it's not on the list, but
[2534.0s] I kind of wouldn't mind going to see the
[2536.0s] giant nose. And like, how does it
[2538.0s] suck up the nose?
[2540.0s] I mean, it sounds like probably
[2542.0s] the
[2544.0s] grossest thing
[2546.0s] I've ever seen.
[2548.0s] I used to dump
[2550.0s] undead out of like a
[2552.0s] like, I've seen
[2554.0s] some gross things.
[2556.0s] Wait, you got to dump undead out of
[2558.0s] what? Well, remember when we, oh
[2560.0s] of course you don't remember.
[2562.0s] Okay, so this one time,
[2564.0s] we're having a big celebration.
[2566.0s] So there's no ore in the back.
[2568.0s] Oh.
[2570.0s] Fresh out of ore.
[2572.0s] But you said we
[2574.0s] could just go down in the mines.
[2576.0s] Absolutely, if you see some, you want
[2578.0s] to bring some back, I'd pay you for it too.
[2580.0s] Oh.
[2582.0s] Speaking of, well, not payment,
[2584.0s] but you should probably have this eclair.
[2586.0s] I mean, we got it
[2588.0s] for mayor, right? I mean.
[2590.0s] Yeah, I'd take an eclair.
[2592.0s] Yeah.
[2594.0s] Thank you.
[2596.0s] And yeah, we could, if we get
[2598.0s] some extra ore, we'll
[2600.0s] bring it back. Great, great.
[2602.0s] So yeah, all you, if you're
[2604.0s] heading to the mines, that's where you're headed,
[2606.0s] right? All you got to do is
[2608.0s] follow the path up into the
[2610.0s] hills, and then it
[2612.0s] meets the mountain, and then
[2614.0s] it's just a big wide cavern.
[2616.0s] Excellent.
[2618.0s] How much for the supplies?
[2620.0s] Oh, well, that's just
[2622.0s] probably a silver that should cover
[2624.0s] you there. And you know what?
[2626.0s] I think I'm going to need a clearing too.
[2628.0s] If you wait for this evening,
[2630.0s] like a few of us will probably be going up
[2632.0s] getting the bottle and nose clean
[2634.0s] and just taking care of that.
[2636.0s] We can actually lead you.
[2638.0s] Anyway, you don't get lost. Oh, so
[2640.0s] everybody kind of goes at the same,
[2642.0s] it's not like as you need it, people
[2644.0s] just kind of wander up and get the thing.
[2646.0s] Everybody sort of, it's like, is there
[2648.0s] any chanting or?
[2650.0s] We all kind of went at the same time
[2652.0s] the first time, so. Right, so
[2654.0s] now you're on a schedule and you just got to kind of.
[2656.0s] Yeah, our booger cycles are all synced.
[2660.0s] That sounds inconvenient for the priest.
[2662.0s] Really is. I mean, he's got
[2664.0s] good thing it's only every couple days, because
[2666.0s] that way he's got time to fill the
[2668.0s] bottles again, you know, bless
[2670.0s] them with from the, you know, the
[2672.0s] powers of the god of McCuss.
[2674.0s] And that way,
[2676.0s] when we all go stumbling back,
[2678.0s] he can
[2680.0s] take care of us. Well, if
[2682.0s] they happen to go all
[2684.0s] at the same time, perhaps it would be beneficial
[2686.0s] if we go before that time,
[2688.0s] so that we're not keeping you from your
[2690.0s] medication.
[2692.0s] Oh, yeah. Yeah, we want to beat the,
[2694.0s] we don't want to get in the way of the
[2696.0s] nose clearing rush. Sure.
[2698.0s] Okay. Roger that.
[2700.0s] You got it. But it sounds
[2702.0s] like we can probably just find our own.
[2704.0s] Our own way seems like it's pretty.
[2706.0s] Very good directions. I think I, you know,
[2708.0s] I think we're good.
[2710.0s] Thank you so much. Okay, well,
[2712.0s] we'll see if we see you on the way
[2714.0s] or on the way back, you know, crossing paths
[2716.0s] depending on the timing.
[2718.0s] It's really nice to meet you.
[2720.0s] Can't wait until
[2722.0s] we get to just, you know, share in like a
[2724.0s] market festival together. It seems like you
[2726.0s] are just like a raucous bunch who are just like
[2728.0s] here to party, you know?
[2730.0s] I do love a festival.
[2732.0s] What do you mean party?
[2738.0s] We cut ahead.
[2740.0s] You've traveled up
[2742.0s] over the hills,
[2744.0s] down to where it meets
[2746.0s] the mountain. And there is
[2748.0s] a large cavernous opening
[2750.0s] at the base of this mountain
[2752.0s] that the path leads into.
[2754.0s] The directions were perfectly
[2756.0s] given. And if this is the place,
[2758.0s] then you have been led to an inn.
[2760.0s] And from inside,
[2762.0s] you hear, as it's
[2764.0s] getting to be a little bit dusk,
[2766.0s] there is like this
[2768.0s] bubbling noise.
[2772.0s] Oh, I don't like this.
[2774.0s] This warmth that's coming out of the
[2776.0s] cave as you
[2778.0s] approach it.
[2780.0s] Is there light coming
[2782.0s] out or just sound?
[2784.0s] It's tough to
[2786.0s] tell as you approach because the
[2788.0s] daylight is obscuring. But as
[2790.0s] you get closer, it appears that there
[2792.0s] is dim
[2794.0s] light,
[2796.0s] mostly from like
[2798.0s] glowing
[2800.0s] lichen
[2802.0s] and bioluminescent type
[2804.0s] things up along the walls.
[2806.0s] No real torch
[2808.0s] light or anything that you can tell
[2810.0s] from your location.
[2816.0s] Well, I know it's just full of snot,
[2818.0s] but with the glowing lichen,
[2820.0s] it's pretty.
[2822.0s] Right? It's kind of pretty here.
[2824.0s] It does have some good ambiance, you're correct.
[2826.0s] Well, after you, Varnas.
[2828.0s] Yeah.
[2830.0s] I know how excited you are.
[2832.0s] I can tell.
[2834.0s] Thank you.
[2836.0s] Thank you for trusting me.
[2838.0s] I am very excited.
[2840.0s] So I just proudly
[2842.0s] march my way right on in there.
[2844.0s] Varnas, you walk your way in,
[2846.0s] and
[2848.0s] the cavern narrows
[2850.0s] to a path. Is everybody following Varnas?
[2852.0s] Oh, yeah. I mean,
[2854.0s] I don't want to speak for everyone,
[2856.0s] but certainly a lip sync is like
[2858.0s] really kind of grossed out,
[2860.0s] but, like,
[2862.0s] let's do it.
[2864.0s] It kind of narrows to
[2866.0s] a point
[2868.0s] or a path,
[2870.0s] and you follow it down, and there's like this
[2872.0s] there's this slickness
[2874.0s] to the walls as you're walking
[2876.0s] in, and you round a corner
[2878.0s] and you can kind of see more
[2880.0s] torch light from
[2882.0s] around this final bend that you're
[2884.0s] walking down, and you turn
[2886.0s] this corner, and it opens up
[2888.0s] into this large chamber
[2890.0s] that has this
[2892.0s] like side path
[2894.0s] and on that path
[2896.0s] there is a large, almost
[2898.0s] like shop stand set up
[2900.0s] like table
[2902.0s] a little bit of adornment
[2904.0s] and on it is a bunch
[2906.0s] of vials, clear vials with
[2908.0s] what looks like fluid in them. Standing behind
[2910.0s] them is this priest figure.
[2912.0s] He's
[2914.0s] probably in his late 20s,
[2916.0s] early 30s,
[2918.0s] very clean cut,
[2920.0s] and you
[2922.0s] round this bend and see him
[2924.0s] and then turn and look, and there
[2926.0s] is this
[2928.0s] giant, probably
[2930.0s] 75 foot tall
[2932.0s] nose
[2934.0s] on the far side of this
[2936.0s] chamber that you're in, and it looks
[2938.0s] like this fluid
[2940.0s] this
[2942.0s] gloopy fluid is traveling
[2944.0s] up the nostrils
[2946.0s] of this
[2948.0s] giant nose
[2950.0s] statuesque
[2952.0s] figure on the
[2954.0s] far side. Well,
[2956.0s] when they said a giant nose, I
[2958.0s] mean, I pictured something pretty big
[2960.0s] but this is a really
[2962.0s] big nose. I mean, that is a
[2964.0s] giant nose.
[2966.0s] Have you come
[2968.0s] for the nose
[2970.0s] cleaning? Oh,
[2972.0s] no, no, no.
[2974.0s] We came just to
[2976.0s] ask you how the summoning
[2978.0s] of the booger god was going for you.
[2980.0s] Summoning of the booger
[2982.0s] god? There's no summoning
[2984.0s] here. We are just taking
[2986.0s] care of
[2988.0s] taking care of
[2990.0s] the issue that
[2992.0s] Ales news. You're doing really
[2994.0s] good. I love it. It's absolutely marvelous
[2996.0s] what you're doing here.
[2998.0s] I appreciate every bit of it. Thank you.
[3000.0s] Thank you. It's for the good of the people. This guy
[3002.0s] bullshitting. Roll insight
[3004.0s] 17. Yeah, you get the sense
[3006.0s] that he's not being totally
[3008.0s] upfront. Okay.
[3010.0s] Like, listen, my onboarding
[3012.0s] taught me exactly what it looks like
[3014.0s] when you are trying to do
[3016.0s] your very first summoning.
[3018.0s] You look like you're getting started out.
[3020.0s] You look young and present
[3022.0s] yourself rather well and
[3024.0s] it's necessary to be able to get people to
[3026.0s] just follow along, right?
[3028.0s] You have to put on that charm.
[3030.0s] So, I'll ask
[3032.0s] again, how's the
[3034.0s] summoning of the booger god coming along?
[3036.0s] Ahh. McCuss wants
[3038.0s] an update.
[3040.0s] Ahh.
[3044.0s] And he runs.
[3058.0s] Tom Laird as Flint with Kyle
[3060.0s] Claset as Vorunax and Russ More as
[3062.0s] your dungeon master. Production and sound
[3064.0s] design by Russ More. This episode
[3066.0s] featured music from Epidemic Sound and
[3068.0s] Artlist and sound effects from
[3070.0s] Epidemic Sound, Boom Library and Sound Ideas.
[3072.0s] A huge thank you to our supporting producers.
[3074.0s] Gabriel Lynch, Jessica Babyok,
[3076.0s] Kat Waterflame, Jacob Madden,
[3078.0s] Christian Brown, Craig Zeiss,
[3080.0s] Aaron Stevens, Darylith, Perry
[3082.0s] Matey, Old School Gamer D,
[3084.0s] L.A. Branton, Nathaniel Teeter,
[3086.0s] Destiny Garcia, Nicholas Cooper
[3088.0s] and Ryan Carr. Join us today at
[3090.0s] Patreon.com slash dumbdragoncast
[3092.0s] where we have new community goals,
[3094.0s] exclusive podcast and discord
[3096.0s] channels and so much more.
[3098.0s] We hope to see you over there very soon.
[3100.0s] Our next goal is 115 patrons in
[3102.0s] the community and we're getting close.
[3104.0s] You have a great week. We'll talk to you soon.
[3112.0s] Give us a good one, Carla.
[3116.0s] Now's your time to shine.
[3118.0s] That's right. If I start, I might not stop.
[3120.0s] No, yeah, no, no.
[3122.0s] I do always have to cough.
[3124.0s] Dumbgeons and Dragons is a Dumb Dragons production.